≽ oria severine // vindicare. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dissimulative) wrote2023-08-30 05:33 pm
dissimulative) wrote2023-08-30 05:33 pm
Entry tags:
irl meetups & phone
Time to touch some grass.
There is nsfw in here. Shhh.
There is nsfw in here. Shhh.
[ Was it? Oria experienced a certain kind of hell when his ex passed away, but he stayed strong and ignored the rumors because he knew they weren't true. He had to. He wasn't allowed to show weakness in front of people, because once he slips up, people would be on it immediately and tear him apart. He always played up his youth and what an 18-year-old boy was supposed to be, so his competition thought they could exploit that for their own gain. He always upturned it to their face and beat them at their own game. That was why he stayed on top and made it seem effortless. It's part of his image. That's who he's supposed to be. Fai saw through him about this, and his interactions with him have felt one-sidedly awkward ever since.
So, as it turns out, spending all his time into making that happen doesn't allow much time for anything else, like properly grieving for a loved one. He never enjoyed nor understood the appeal of taking pictures for the sake of memories. Memories are just things you remember and briskly walk away from. Move forward. That's all he can do. That's all he must do. Keep walking until you can't anymore. Keep your eyes on the future and make plans accordingly.
The past is a burden. ]
... I don't know.
So, as it turns out, spending all his time into making that happen doesn't allow much time for anything else, like properly grieving for a loved one. He never enjoyed nor understood the appeal of taking pictures for the sake of memories. Memories are just things you remember and briskly walk away from. Move forward. That's all he can do. That's all he must do. Keep walking until you can't anymore. Keep your eyes on the future and make plans accordingly.
The past is a burden. ]
... I don't know.
Edited 2023-09-04 03:09 (UTC)
[Of course it's been hard. Sinclair knows how much Oria has been carrying, how much Oria has had to put on a facade and keep going. He suspects Oria's never had a chance to just stop. And feel.
Feeling was the hardest part of it. He stares up at the ceiling, feeling an all too familiar ache]
...grieving for someone feels like fear, doesn't it? [Grief never leaves you. It changes shape, fitting into something you can eventually learn to live with. Oria felt too much, not to hurt, not to feel like he was bleeding with it] I didn't realise that, until recently. It's relentless. [He exhales softly] I never got to send off my family properly. Did you...?
Feeling was the hardest part of it. He stares up at the ceiling, feeling an all too familiar ache]
...grieving for someone feels like fear, doesn't it? [Grief never leaves you. It changes shape, fitting into something you can eventually learn to live with. Oria felt too much, not to hurt, not to feel like he was bleeding with it] I didn't realise that, until recently. It's relentless. [He exhales softly] I never got to send off my family properly. Did you...?
[ There's a bit of silence, until there's a shaky sigh that sounds vaguely muffled. Oria is on his bed too, and honestly, he feels upset. He won't say it nor lash out, but he's upset. ]
... I wasn't allowed to go to his funeral. I'm not even permitted to be within a hundred feet from the graveyard that his grave is in.
[ There were rumors about how Oria Severine wasn't seen at the mayor's son's funeral, which only solidified the publics' opinion of how Oria really must have killed him. ]
... I wasn't allowed to go to his funeral. I'm not even permitted to be within a hundred feet from the graveyard that his grave is in.
[ There were rumors about how Oria Severine wasn't seen at the mayor's son's funeral, which only solidified the publics' opinion of how Oria really must have killed him. ]
[ Sinclair draws in a sharp breath. He's angry. Angry for Oria and every little thing these adults keep putting him through]
... then let's send them off together. Properly, the way they deserve. It doesn't have to be at their graves.
[ He can't go back home. He wont go back home, until he's ready.]
He liked the ocean, didn't he? We can do it there. The Twilight Shoreline.
... then let's send them off together. Properly, the way they deserve. It doesn't have to be at their graves.
[ He can't go back home. He wont go back home, until he's ready.]
He liked the ocean, didn't he? We can do it there. The Twilight Shoreline.
... Okay. We can do it for your family too. Just... pick a time and tell me what we need for it. We can get ready.
[ ... ]
Thanks... for hearing me out.
[ ... ]
Thanks... for hearing me out.
Mn. I shouldn't have anything planned. If I suddenly get plans, I'll let you know.
[ But that's unlikely, so. ]
[ But that's unlikely, so. ]
I love you too.
[ He still feels a bit down, but what he says is genuine. ]
I don't think I'll log back in for the day and instead, probably smash some bowling pins out of the way.
[ He really has an entire bowling lane in his basement... ]
So I'll see you tomorrow.
[ He still feels a bit down, but what he says is genuine. ]
I don't think I'll log back in for the day and instead, probably smash some bowling pins out of the way.
[ He really has an entire bowling lane in his basement... ]
So I'll see you tomorrow.
Mm. I haven't decided yet but...I'll see you tomorrow.
[ He's tired, sore. But he doesn't want to be alone right now.
And then when the day comes]
[ He's tired, sore. But he doesn't want to be alone right now.
And then when the day comes]
Edited 2023-09-04 06:37 (UTC)
[ Oh... Here he was, expecting a text message. Maybe Mithrun recovered faster than he thought?
Either way, he picks up and his voice? Sounds awful. ]
I told you to text...
Either way, he picks up and his voice? Sounds awful. ]
I told you to text...
... Did you...?
( lmao. He forgot what Oria wrote immediately after reading it. He only retained "we need to talk" once he remembered they were supposed to talk at all.
His voice is a little far from the speaker and a little muffled, like he put the phone on his pillow by his head. He doesn't sound like he should be talking much - the way he puts together the sounds to form words is clumsy and a little slow, and there's a spacy quality to his voice arguing that he's still pretty disoriented, which maybe isn't conveyed quite in the same way through typos and text.
There's a brief moment of fabric moving against the receiver like he's about to hang up and text as suggested (or, well, reminded), but it's as he's figuring out which button turns off the call (the big red one isn't totally registering, be patient) that he rather belatedly recognizes Oria's tone as unwell... he thinks. At the very least, he sounds different than he thinks Oria used to sound. Is meant to sound? It's not a sound that sounds like Oria, anyway. )
... Did something happen?
( lmao. He forgot what Oria wrote immediately after reading it. He only retained "we need to talk" once he remembered they were supposed to talk at all.
His voice is a little far from the speaker and a little muffled, like he put the phone on his pillow by his head. He doesn't sound like he should be talking much - the way he puts together the sounds to form words is clumsy and a little slow, and there's a spacy quality to his voice arguing that he's still pretty disoriented, which maybe isn't conveyed quite in the same way through typos and text.
There's a brief moment of fabric moving against the receiver like he's about to hang up and text as suggested (or, well, reminded), but it's as he's figuring out which button turns off the call (the big red one isn't totally registering, be patient) that he rather belatedly recognizes Oria's tone as unwell... he thinks. At the very least, he sounds different than he thinks Oria used to sound. Is meant to sound? It's not a sound that sounds like Oria, anyway. )
... Did something happen?
I'm sick.
[ Well, he does sound ill. The usual energy in his voice has left him as well as everywhere else. ]
Anyway, your revenge scheme with Sinclair. You wanna finally tell me about it?
[ Well, he does sound ill. The usual energy in his voice has left him as well as everywhere else. ]
Anyway, your revenge scheme with Sinclair. You wanna finally tell me about it?
( ..........................................
Mithrun's voice is hard to gauge, partly because of that spacy element muddling tone. But it isn't quite his usual neutral. )
What did he tell you and why?
Mithrun's voice is hard to gauge, partly because of that spacy element muddling tone. But it isn't quite his usual neutral. )
What did he tell you and why?
To be fair, we thought you were dead, so.
[ aka Oria better not see Mithrun taking it out on Sinclair :catgun: ]
He was regretting that you didn't have your chance to do what you wanted because you were waiting for him to make the decision. Which I thought was weird, since you told me that you would have gone on your own several days before you carked it for a week.
[ aka Oria better not see Mithrun taking it out on Sinclair :catgun: ]
He was regretting that you didn't have your chance to do what you wanted because you were waiting for him to make the decision. Which I thought was weird, since you told me that you would have gone on your own several days before you carked it for a week.
( mentally closes his eyes... sinclair... )
And you're asking me about this because?
And you're asking me about this because?
If you can do it on your own, why do you need him?
[ But wow, he sees that personality upgrade. ]
[ But wow, he sees that personality upgrade. ]
( kirakira
A beat. )
He was the one who wanted revenge. I said I would help him.
It doesn't involve you, so there's no reason you needed to know.
A beat. )
He was the one who wanted revenge. I said I would help him.
It doesn't involve you, so there's no reason you needed to know.
[ He figured this would have been Mithrun's answer, but that's fine. ]
What if I bought two hits for both of you?
What if I bought two hits for both of you?
( Let's set aside logistics for a moment, because even in his blurred state he thinks Oria knows it's not that quick or easy - obviously, Oria knows. That's not even the point here. )
... Why?
( Why would you do that, what would you gain, what are you so afraid of happening if we are the vehicles of our own revenge? )
... Why?
( Why would you do that, what would you gain, what are you so afraid of happening if we are the vehicles of our own revenge? )
If you have to ask me why, you probably aren't distracted enough yet.
[ :)
But Mithrun would be right. Hiring a hit is easy, but when the two targets are affiliated with Sarabi? That's going to be rough. ]
[ :)
But Mithrun would be right. Hiring a hit is easy, but when the two targets are affiliated with Sarabi? That's going to be rough. ]
... This is more than just what friends do. Tell me.
This isn't about being friends.
[ Except that it IS a small factor into it. Oria doesn't want to see Mithrun die without getting "distracted" enough to want to live out his life in full. He also doesn't want Sinclair to rot away forever in jail. He's aware of the risks and the thorough planning he'll need—Sarabi can't be underestimated. ]
It's about being selfish.
[ Of his own desires and wants. ]
[ Except that it IS a small factor into it. Oria doesn't want to see Mithrun die without getting "distracted" enough to want to live out his life in full. He also doesn't want Sinclair to rot away forever in jail. He's aware of the risks and the thorough planning he'll need—Sarabi can't be underestimated. ]
It's about being selfish.
[ Of his own desires and wants. ]
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