irl meetups & phone

[dissimulative]

Time to touch some grass.

There is nsfw in here. Shhh.

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[dissimulative]

You can't really forget something that's so ingrained into you. I get it.

[ Not of the vengeance level, but of something that's become such a part of you. Oria understands. After all, he's like that too. It may not be about murder on his mind, but it sure is something. ]

[insinning]

[Even now, Oria was being understanding. Sinclair blinks, struggling to stay awake]

Mm...it feels like, I'm not allowed to let go either...

[dissimulative]

How come?

[ He wants to understand. Moreover, he wants Sinclair to understand his own needs, and perhaps saying it out loud will help him reach that understanding. ]

[insinning]

Because it feels like every time I try to move forward, something happens to drag me right back.

[He's exhausted. But he can talk like this, to Oria who understands, and isn't trying to tell him he's wrong]

She wont let me go. She was like that back in school too, I think...not with me, but...

[There were others, Sinclair recalls. There must have been]

[dissimulative]

She better let go now that I'm here.

[ Hands off his man?? Don't touch him!! ]

Emil, I'll be with you. You could be dragged back countless of times and I know it's tiring, but... I hope that with time, you'll get stronger—so strong that when she tries to drag you back again, you can stand your ground and kick her off.

[insinning]

[Sinclair lets out a shuddery noise, as he tries to hold back a fresh wave of tears. Things are different this time. He knows this.]

Yeah. [ But can he? He's not so sure right now ]

...it scares me, you know. What I know I could do if I had the chance...

[Maybe more than Kromer herself]

[dissimulative]

I know.

[ Oria can't see Sinclair holding himself back when he gets that one narrow chance to end it once and for all. ]

But whether that happens or not, just know... you can come back to me anytime.

[insinning]

[Oh.

He thinks there are so many wrong moves he can make right now.

Most of them will hurt. Maybe they'd hurt Oria more than himself. And he doesn't want that.]

Oria...

[Why is he still wavering? Why can't he make a decision and choose now?]

[dissimulative]

I love you, Emil.

[ His voice is gentle. ]

For serious relationships, I think it's okay to share the burden and help each other get through things. I'm sure you'd want the same for me.

[insinning]

[ Even through the haze of the medicine, the anger and fury, warmth blooms through him.]

...yeah. I would.

[ His words are slow, muffled. He might be falling asleep again]

[dissimulative]

Yeah... so... rest up and I'll see you in the game again, okay? I don't feel as sick anymore. And you better not either.

[ A threat!!! ]

Or I'm gonna embarrass you to high hell.

[insinning]

Mm...

[ Sleepy agreement]

Sounds scary. Okay. No more sickness...

[dissimulative]

Mm.

[ Oria quietly breathes out a sigh of relief. ]

Sleep well, Emil.

[insinning]

Okay... I'll see you later...

[ In-game, he means. He manages to hang up again before he drifts off to sleep]